Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
