shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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