So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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