I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
