mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
