um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
