Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He passed out mid-signature
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
