i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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