I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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