omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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