i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
