but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
