I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
