question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
