The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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