Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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