Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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