yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
