watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's the barista slut.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
