Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
