I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
