She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
