What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
