A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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