You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
