Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
