No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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