So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish you could order shots online.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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