Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
