Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
