my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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