I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
