Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
