So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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