He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
