I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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