I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
