They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
