you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
