wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
