he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
