Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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