I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
