so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drake has all the answers
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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