Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
