You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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