bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
