I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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