I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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