My friends, they love my intelligence
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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